We now consider
the different aspects of divorce. We will especially examine what the Bible
teaches about it, and if it is right to remarry. It is important to clearly and
properly understand it. If you are facing divorce, read this information.
in your spouse! Divorce and
remarriage are becoming more and more common and accepted in the current
society. Marriage can easily be seen only as an agreement that can be cancelled
any time. People may think that if problems arise, "we can always get a
divorce if this does not work out." The doorway to getting a divorce can
be held open all the time, so people do not take proper care of their marriage.
People do not invest fully in their marriage because divorce is seen as an
How can this be fixed? There is no other alternative than
to start committing to the relationship. Do not take your spouse for granted,
but reserve time for your spouse and give him/her the same attention you pay to
other things; actually, your spouse should be the most important thing after
God. If we have this kind of a right order of importance, the relationship will
not fade completely.
We must also note that marriage is really a lifelong
relationship that will end when we die. If we do not understand this, our
motivation to build up our marriage is not right:
- (Rom 7:1-3) Know you not, brothers,
(for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law has dominion over a
man as long as he lives?
2 For the
woman which has an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he
lives; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law
of her husband.
3 So then if,
while her husband lives, she be married to another man, she shall be called an
adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she
is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
- (1 Cor 7:39) The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be
married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
thing is that our choices make an impact on our eternal life. If we live our
life in the wrong way, outside the will of God, we will not inherit the kingdom
of God; we will remain outside.
If someone plans to leave his or her spouse because of
someone else, or in some other way turns his or her back on God, this also
affects his or her eternal life. It will have an impact on us through eternity,
because sexually immoral people, adulterers, and other evildoers will not
inherit the kingdom of God,
as the following verses state. This situation can change only if we repent our
sins and turn to God:
- (Mal 2:14-16) Yet you say, Why? Because
the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom
you have dealt treacherously: yet is she your companion, and the wife of your
15 And did not he
make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And why one? That he might seek
a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal
treacherously against the wife of his youth.
16 For the
LORD, the God of Israel,
said that he hates putting away: for one covers violence with his
garment, said the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that you
deal not treacherously.
- (Mark ,12) And he said to them, Whoever shall put away his wife,
and marry another, commits adultery against her.
12 And if a
woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she commits
- (Luke 16:18) Whoever puts away
his wife, and marries another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her that is put away from her husband commits
- () And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and
she repented not.
- (Hebr 13:4) Marriage is
honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers
God will judge.
- (1 Cor 6:9,10) Know you not that
the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom
of God?Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor
idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of
themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves,
nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortionists, shall
inherit the kingdom of God.
The most common reason why divorce takes place is lack of respect for
Some people do not believe in
God, or believe that they do not have to answer for their actions – including
how they treated their spouse and how they lived with him or her. Such people
are careless. This is yet another issue that is rooted in how people view the
In the past, more people
believed in God and society respected correct values including the permanence
of marriage. When people rejected their Christian faith and its foundations,
their general behaviour changed. Divorces are one consequence of this. Others
include common-law relationships, abortions, and other behaviours that go
against the will of God.
This same attitude has even spread to some congregations.
Some people are so strongly influenced by the public opinion and media that
they no longer fear violating God's commandments. They are encouraged to get a
divorce, and think that God will forgive them; they are not motivated to save
their marriage. David Wilkerson shared his experiences:
God has strafed me because I have been too
lenient and forgiving when preaching about divorce and remarrying. I felt the
anxiety of all the innocent people, the loneliness of the people who had been
rejected by their indecent spouses, and the seclusion and guilt of people who
were devoted to God but had divorced and remarried. However, when I preached
love, hope and forgiveness to these people, many others who were planning a
divorce also found solace and even encouragement. They thought along these
lines: "This may be wrong but I'm going to take the step anyway and then
throw myself on God's mercy. Others have found grace, so why shouldn't I?"
I do not know the answer to everything. What I know, however, is what I've
heard from God about future events. Christians who have been warned, who
rejected the wrath of God on divorce and used pretences to justify their bad
deeds will never find rest in the Lord. The new marriages will cause them more
unhappiness and anxiety... This book is not intended to make innocent victims
of divorce and remarried people who are now seeking for the Lord to feel
unsafe... God is very merciful to any person who repents. (1)
BECAUSE of marital unfaithfulness. We noted earlier
that marriage should be a lifelong union that is dissolved only when one of the
spouses die. There is one exception to this: divorce is acceptable only if our
spouse is continuously unfaithful (is an adulterer). If we have divorced for
any other reason, and entered into a new marriage, we ourselves are considered
to be adulterers.
If a person is constantly unfaithful and acts immorally,
this can break the bonds of marriage. According to Jesus, it is the only
accepted reason for divorce.
On the other hand, adultery does
not force an end to the marriage. It
actually does not break the bond of marriage; only when one spouse enters into
a new marriage does that occur. If a person is
unsure, there is still hope to save the relationship. Miracles can occur
through forgiving and forgetting in these situations. Jesus' words
emphasize the permanence of marriage:
- (Matt 19:3-9) The Pharisees also came
to him, tempting him, and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to put away
his wife for every cause?
4 And he
answered and said to them, Have you not read, that he which made them at the
beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For
this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall join to his wife: and
they two shall be one flesh?
6 Why they are
no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let
not man put asunder.
7 They say to
him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorce, and to put her
8 He said to them,
Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your
wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I
say to you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and
shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her which is
put away does commit adultery.
- (Matt -32) It has been said, Whoever shall put away his wife, let
him give her a writing of divorce:
32 But I say to
you, That whoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication,
causes her to commit adultery: and whoever shall marry her that is divorced