Homosexuality and being
freed from it
In the following chapters, we are going to take a look at homosexuality
and its underlying factors. We will discuss the origins of homosexuality and
whether it is possible to be freed from it, and also what the Bible says about
it. Many people might have different opinions about some of the issues brought
up, but it will still be worthwhile reading the whole text.
underlying
factors BEHIND homosexuality. People have often claimed that homosexuality is
innate and that there is nothing you can do about it. People may have claimed
that some people have been born to be homosexual and that they must just accept
their identity.
However, when studying homosexuality, it has been
impossible to find even one hereditary reason for it. No gene or other
hereditary factor has been found that could cause homosexuality. Clear findings
from this area are missing.
Instead, the secret seems to lie in certain underlying
factors and special features that we will study below. These factors have been
found in many studies and interviews, and some may recognize these in
themselves (they are usually connected with relationships). Let’s have a look
at these issues:
Homosexuality in men
Rejection by one’s father. Maybe the most typical factor causing
homosexuality in men is the absence of a model of a warm and loving father. If
one's father has been hot-tempered, indifferent, and hostile, this can result
in the boy or the man starting to look for the approval of men, because he did
not get it from his own father. Thus, the homosexuality of men is actually
sexualizing the longing for a father (for women longing for a mother). If a man
has had a good model of a father, it will in part prevent homosexual
development. Jerry Arterburn, a former homosexual, talks about this:
Additional support and acceptance
given to a child can be enough as such. Many homosexuals have told that they
actually mainly longed for the acceptance of men. Had their fathers changed
their attitude and given their sons more attention, their whole life could have
gone in a positive direction. (1)
Other men. Almost as important a factor as the rejection of the father
is also rejection from other important men, such as brothers and schoolmates.
This rejection can deprive a boy identifying with his own gender and thus
isolate him from it. Many men have drifted into homosexual relationships
because they have found the approval and solidarity of male friends that they
did not experience before. Jerry Arterburn has told how this affected him most
of all:
I didn't change into a full-blooded gay
overnight. The change took place so gradually that I didn’t even immediately
notice it. At first, I only thought I was making friends with these new
acquaintances. I enjoyed the new friends. They seemed to understand what I had
gone through in my childhood. (…) I wanted to find out whether homosexuality
was the reason why I felt as I did. I stopped dating girls and started to spend
my time with a homosexual couple I knew from the university. I perfectly fitted
in this group, and the boys took me under their wings just like brothers. I
felt such solidarity, which I hadn't felt even in the company of my own
brothers. The feeling of being accepted was miraculous. It tempted me to the
homosexual world more than anything else. (2)
Andrew Comiskey has also told how he started to feel a homosexual
longing because he had been isolated from his male friends of the same age.
This was one of the main reasons for his homosexual longing:
In a large part of my early sexual development,
alienation from my own masculinity could be observed. I felt insufficient and
unsuitable for the role of a man. It was mostly because of the emotional
distance I kept from my father, partly because of my own expectations and wrong
observations, and partly because of my father's imperfections. Alienation from
my father was confirmed by the continuous rejections of my male friends that
started already in the and continued through puberty. Because I had distanced myself from my
father and my male friends, I started to feel a powerful homosexual longing. I
didn't understand how hurt and judgmental I felt towards men. Neither did I
understand how difficult it was for me to deal with my own masculinity. (3)
Mother's influence. A mother can also play a part in the origins of
homosexuality. If she separates the children from their father or binds them
too strongly to her instead of her husband and takes her son as her confidant,
it can cause great harm. The affection of a mother can psychologically mislead
her son, and because he must be the confidant, it can be difficult for him to
separate his own sexual identity from that of his mother. He may then follow
the model of his mother instead of that of his father. Leanne Payne has
described this:
If the child does not have a strong and
supporting father figure, an extremely protective mother who keeps her son
harmfully close can cause her son to have difficulties in separating his sexual
identity from that of his mother, and the mother can promote homosexual
behavior in her son. (4)
The second possible model is a commanding and dominating mother criticizing
her husband in front of the children. The mother can be very aggressive and
derogatory towards her husband, greatly damaging the son's image of his father.
It can also cause the son to have difficulties later on in trusting women,
because his mother has given him such a dominating and commanding model. This
kind of a background has been described by Andrew Comiskey:
Time after time I have seen how these people are
incapable of heterosexual relationships because they feel that the parent of
the opposite sex took advantage of the other parent. One man who sought help
did not trust women at all because his mother had behaved in a dominating way
towards her passive husband and insulted him. (5)
Parents’ negative attitude towards sexuality. One factor causing
homosexuality can be the parents’ negative attitude towards sexuality. The
parents may, for example, unreasonably punish their child for having shown his
body while playing with other children. This can later result in rejecting
sexuality as a whole. Sometimes, the parents’ unreasonably negative reactions
can only cause damage.
The case may also be a father mocking his son’s awakening
interest in girls, whereupon the son can misunderstand it as something
unsuitable, dirty, and abnormal (there may, however, be other influencing
factors behind this as well). The son may later turn to his own gender to
receive sexual approval.
David and Don Wilkerson have described this in their book The
Untapped Generation:
Children who are continually warned about the
danger of sexual relationships start to think them as boring and dirty. The
child interprets his natural sexual feelings during puberty as abnormal and may
feel guilty because of them. The child has perhaps been taught to fear people
of the opposite sex. Parents who themselves have problems with their sexuality
often consciously or unconsciously reflect these feelings to their children.
Parents who bring their children up
with a healthy attitude towards sexuality need not be afraid of their child
becoming a homosexual; it is very probable that the child will grow up
normally. A home filled with a healthy attitude towards sexuality should be
filled with signs from which the child can naturally conclude that
heterosexuality is not only normal and right, but also rewarding and pleasing.
Sexually well-balanced parents instinctively know how to encourage the
masculinity in boys and femininity in girls. (…)
Wrong demands. Another factor causing homosexuality can be parents
being disappointed in having gotten a boy instead of a girl, and subconsciously
trying to force their child in to the role of the opposite sex, for example by
dressing a boy in the clothes of a girl. Leanne Payne offers a good example of
this:
Loren, an elegant, handsome forty-year-old man,
had been openly homosexual since his youth. This had caused great conflicts
between him and his father, and problems in his other relationships. He did not
accept himself but defended his behavior passionately when arguing with his
father. He understood that his homosexuality included a grudge and a rebellion
towards his father, but he was never able to deal with these. This man had
genuinely found Christ and salvation, but he often lost the battle against his
homosexual tendency, until God brought into light his first memories. This
happened when we asked the Lord to find that recollection that would expose the
cause of the problem. During this prayer, he relived an occurrence that took
place when he was only just born.
He saw his father coming into the
room where he had just been born. Disappointment quickly filled the room and
heavily weighed on him. His father looked at him with disgust and said,
"Another boy!” Then he turned and rushed away from the room. Loren was
their third son, they had been hoping for a girl. Loren "saw" all of
this and experienced it again – and this time, understood it both
intellectually and emotionally. This rejection explained why Loren had later
tried to become a girl, to the great astonishment of the family. He wanted to
play with dolls and girls, not with boys. He unconsciously tried to be the girl
his father had hoped for. (6)
Abuse by someone of the same sex can also cause homosexual
behavior. Jerry Arterburn tells how he was a victim of sexual abuse, which was
one of the factors that led him in the wrong direction. He also tells how many
of his homosexual friends have a similar background. Another quote from a book
of Argentinean evangelist Carlos Annacondia speaks about the same issue:
The result of that evening was that my feelings
got sidetracked. I had been sexually abused. In my case, that was literally the
beginning of the end. (…)
My struggle that lasted for thirty
years resembles that of many other gay people. I have met several people like
me, who have drifted into homosexuality because older boys or adult men have
sexually abused them. Ironically, my first experience gave me the attention
from men that I longed for. At the same time, it tore apart my already weak
basic security and self-esteem. (7)
Many people whom God has freed from homosexuality have told us that they
have either been raped or abused sexually in the childhood. Often such words as
“You are a sissy,” which the parents say to hurt a child, can subdue a little
boy. But when Jesus comes into their life, the evil spirit has to leave and
they are released. I can assure you that no other treatment is needed. (8)
FEMALE
Homosexuality. As men’s homosexuality is often caused by a
defective relationship with their father, women often have problems with their
relationship with their mother. It is the most common reason for homosexuality
among women. Leanne Payne has observed this to be the most typical reason for
female homosexuality:
I now understood that emotional emptiness which
made Lisa especially sensitive and had caused her to easily drift into a
relationship with her lesbian teacher. Lesbian behavior (except when it is a
question of a hysterical personality) as a sexual neurosis is not as complicated
as homosexual behavior in men. According to my experience, it is generally
caused by the need to climb into the mother's lap that was not fulfilled at all
or not enough in childhood. (9)
Erik Ewalds has made the same observation about female homosexuality. He
writes in his book (Tahdotko tulla terveeksi, p. 94):
When
treating male homosexuals, I have noticed that one reason behind their
disposition is that they did not have a father figure to whom they could relate
as children. They did not receive any assistance in finding their gender or the
ego that would have set them free. I have tried to study for a long time what
is the underlying reason behind female homosexuality. At least one reason is
that the mother has not been a good role model, and thus the young girl has
started to strive to relate to men. This means that the women try to purchase
their self-worth by competing with men. I’m not claiming that this is the only
reason for female homosexuality that applies to all female homosexuals but
there are such cases, women with whom I’ve spoken and whom I’ve had the
privilege of assisting in finding themselves.
- One reason for lesbianism can be the woman's fear and anger towards
her father and other men, because they have not loved her. Also, if she has
experienced sexual abuse from men, it may have further increased her fear and
anger towards them. However, because she yearns for love – just like we all do
– she may turn to her own gender.
- An important factor can be the parents having hoped for a boy
instead of a girl, and subconsciously trying to force the girl into the role of
boy. This is one possible factor also in the background of male homosexuality.
ReactiNG
TO CIRCUMSTANCES. Various harmful factors we
mentioned earlier can be behind homosexuality, and perhaps some people have
recognized some of them in themselves.
However, it is good to note that even though many people
have been influenced by similar circumstances, it has not made them homosexual.
They may have suffered from the very same things, but have still not drifted
into a similar way of life.
How we react to our own circumstances makes a difference. (A
good example of this is that even though prostitutes and criminals in general come
from certain kinds of homes, many people who have come from similar conditions
have not become prostitutes or criminals. This means that we can affect our
choices.) For example, Alan Medinger, a former homosexual, says that
circumstances did not cause his homosexuality; rather, it was how he himself
reacted to circumstances. His story fits many people who now practice
homosexuality:
You can find from
my past almost all of those circumstances that are usually thought to lead to
homosexuality: I was not a wanted child, my parents had hoped for a daughter, I
had an older brother who better-met our father’s expectations, and a father who
had big problems in his emotional life. He could hardly manage his own life,
not to mention being a real father for his sons. I know that these
circumstances did not cause my homosexuality. Rather, how I reacted to these
led me into this direction. (10)
Is
CHANGING possible? People have often defended
homosexual behavior by saying that it is inborn and thus, cannot be influenced.
Many have even showed the wrong kind of compassion saying, "You were born
like this. You must accept it.” Maybe the same has been said to many of these
people.
But as we noted before, homosexuality is not inborn, but is
a question of circumstances and one's own choices. If it were hereditary, then
it would be likely that, for example, from a group of three children all would
become homosexual. However, this is usually not the case. We might also think
that the parents and grandparents should also be homosexual. That they are not
so tells us that homosexuality is not hereditary or inborn.
Changing one’s behavior is certainly possible, though many
homosexuals might say that they can never change or want to change.
God -- who created people as male and female -- can also
heal a broken person, because that is what this is also about. He can heal our
soul and mend what was broken over the years. We only have to first give our
life to God.
A good example of how God works is seen in Cor. 6. In this
passage, it is described how homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of God, but
then Paul adds, "And such were some of
you."
This indicates that some of these people were previously homosexual, but
changed. Paul wrote:
- (1 Cor 6:9,11) Know you not that
the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor
adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor
revilers, nor extortionists, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
11 And such were some of you: but you are washed, but you are sanctified, but you are justified in
the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
Alan Medinger has also told about his own change. It happened suddenly,
which of course is not always the case:
The following day and the days after it I
noticed that a whole lot of miracles had taken place. Homosexual fantasies that
I had had every day over the past 25 years had disappeared. I experienced such
a love towards Willa, that I had not even imagined it to be possible. And what
is perhaps even more important, God was not a distant judge to me anymore, but
He had become my personal Savior. Jesus loved me, and I loved Him a lot. It was
the first time I understood what loving and to be loved really mean. (…)
Because the healing from homosexuality took place so suddenly, I am often asked
how perfect the healing really is. I can answer by saying that time is a proof
of its genuineness and that a blessed marriage is the fruit of it. Over the
last ten years, I have not experienced any homosexual temptations. With
temptation I mean that I would have seriously considered or wished to have sex
with men. However, after the basic healing I in a way missed having an older,
stronger man in my life. Also this has now gone, and I regard men as my
brothers, not as fathers or protectors. (11)
Let’s look at another quote that is connected with the subject. It is
about a transsexual woman who lived in the role of a man for 37 years (the
writing is called For 37 years in the role of a man: God unified my
identity). She behaved like a man, dressed like a man and used the name
of a man. She suppressed all things feminine in herself and only a few knew
that in reality she was a woman.
A reason for her behaviour was mainly the
conditions of her childhood and life, which is a common background for
homosexuals and the sexually disabled. She wanted to be a boy instead of a girl
and she noticed that she could please her parents better in the role of a boy.
However, liberation and recovery started when she gave her life to God:
… -
I’m from the Netherlands. My father was an Italian and my mother a Romany of
the Netherlands. My family was very broken. I had to cope with the criminal
world of Rotterdam already in youth. At the age of fourteen, I was sentenced to
prison for three and half years, La Serpe tells.
Because of problems at home, the girl spent several years of her childhood
with her grandmother in Italy. Her parents had hoped for their firstborn to be
a boy. The girl noticed already at an early age that she pleased her parents
and managed in streets better as a boy. The dresses, jewellery and make-up were
not for her. Luisa suppressed all things feminine in herself and took as her
name the masculine name Loid.
Only a
few knew her right sex because she shaved her hair, used men’s clothes and
behaved like other men.
(...)
This is how Luisa’s change from a drug dealer to an evangelist began.
Femininity began to be in proportion as she started to recover from her
internal wounds, of which the rejection experiences of her childhood were
biggest. It took, however, several years before she dared to give up her male identity
wholly to God’s care.
(...)
God assured that He knew how Luisa was doing. He promised to heal the wounds of
her heart if Luisa only returned to Him.
- That
night, the Holy Spirit came and took care of me. I got to be healed thoroughly
from my internal wounds and to be in His arms like a child. I repented that I
had lived in the role of a man up to the age of 37. Only then did I dare to
give up my male identity wholly to God and accept my femininity.
The
tall, beautiful woman breaks with emotion many times as she remembers the old
days. The journey has not been easy but today she is happy. Luisa is full of
joyful tension as she waits to see what God has planned for her next.
After
her recovery, Luisa returned to slum work among the most miserable of Fortaleza
in Brazil. She shows photographs in which she poses with a saved, former
Macumba priest or prays with a crying woman whose lower extremities are
gangrened because of untreated diabetes.
-
Poverty, diseases, criminality and prostitution are the daily reality in slums.
Sometimes I had to flee with my friends from gangsters armed with jungle
knives. But still the work was worth the while, Luisa La Serpe rejoices. (12)
Human
relations are important when someone wants to change and become
whole. This applies to people with homosexual tendencies and other people. Many
people have experienced rejection in their life; they’ve been
rejected
by their father, mother, teacher or fellow students, for example. (I heard in a radio programme that 50% of
young homosexuals had contemplated suicide; this suggests difficult experiences
in their lives. The number of people who have contemplated suicide is clearly
lower among heterosexual people.)
Due
to these experiences, these people have difficulties in accepting themselves
and they have formed a negative self-image. They may hate themselves, be
critical towards their appearance and habitus in general, and also be
distrustful towards other people. This is a common consequence of a past
experience of rejection.
How can a person be freed from negative experiences and a
negative self-image? One way is through the direct acts of God and His touch:
He can touch us so that our past traumas will be healed in a second and will no
longer burden us. He can do in minutes what would otherwise require years to
achieve.
Another way to become whole is to have good
human relations. If a person expects to be rejected but is accepted instead, it
can help their recovery and clearly improve their self-image. This applies to
all people, both those with a homosexual background and other people. Let's
study a quote where a former homosexual describes how good human relations
helped him accept himself:
I started a new phase in my life when I was more and more convinced as a
young believer that God could free me from my homosexuality and that He was
calling me to free others in His name. The most important in this all was my
changing schools: I transferred from my old university to the University of
California in Los Angeles (UCLA). I moved into a house for Christian males,
which was both a challenge and a blessing for me in equal measures.
I was forced to face my own
fears and prejudices about men – particularly conservative heterosexual men. My
old ambivalence rose to the surface. These men represented traditions and
orthodoxy, the kind of normality that rejected me and against which I naturally
rebelled. (...) I learned something huge and unexpected during my first year
there: all these men loved me. Despite all the signs showcasing my
unconventional cultural background (long hair, sharp tongue, sinister sense of
humour), they brought out the good in me and really blessed me. Their love was
quite rough sometimes. One of them once told me to repent my pride and elitist
attitude (my sinful way of protecting myself from rejection). But most of my
brothers showed their love by praying for me and encouraging me to grow in the
Lord.
I was surprised at meeting
such whole men who were able to love other men freely, even tenderly, without
any erotic agenda. My attitude towards them was sometimes reserved but I
revelled in the clearly masculine affirmation they offered me. When I felt safe
enough, I opened up to some of the men in the house, thus placing myself out
there, which allowed me to experience inner healing I had never before
experienced. I was one of them and I loved it. I understood that I was finally
able to enjoy true love with people of the same sex in the manner God intended.
Jesus gave me courage during
the time I lived with these men. He helped me by allowing me to lean on Him and
use the gifts He has given me. For the first time in my life others said to me
that I could have the gifts of speaker and counsellor.
I
started to see myself as a dynamic worker in the Kingdom of God instead of a
“recovering” homosexual. I enjoyed life and felt that I was valuable with my
roots in His love and His purpose. I felt that I was living God’s great plan to
the fullest, seeking for God and rejoicing in His care. His care was clear and
continuous over the course of the eighteen months or so I spent in the house. (13)
"I
have this tendency". When we look at whether
homosexuality is inborn, many people may argue by saying that they have this tendency
and can do nothing about it (we noted before that homosexuality is not inborn).
They may also say that their tendency cannot be morally wrong.
However, it is not so special for someone to have a
tendency, such as homosexuality. Some may have a tendency towards alcoholism,
smoking, anger, extramarital relationships, pornography or other such things.
These are tendencies just like any others, homosexuality is no different.
For us to have a tendency – inborn or not – does not make
us just a victim of our circumstances. We can, at least to some degree, choose
how much we let the tendency lead us. Thus, a person with a homosexual tendency
can choose whether he or she has sexual intercourse, or has intercourse with
just one person or with several people, for example. In the same way, a spouse
can decide to be faithful, even though he or she felt an urge to fall in love
with someone else. Someone who loves food can to some degree control his or her
appetite just like a smoker can decide when to put a cigarette into his or her
mouth.
The question is whether we let these wrong tendencies
control our life. This is what Paul has written:
- (Rom 6:12) Let not sin therefore
reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in the lusts thereof.
The help of God in overcoming
these tendencies. In the previous paragraphs, we talked about tendencies
and overcoming them. It is also possible that a person is dependent on his or
her tendencies. Perhaps you are the kind of person who has struggled with homosexuality
or some other dependency, but have not been able to get rid of it.
For you to have this kind of a dependency is actually a
sign that you belong to a certain group of people. You are, according to the
Bible, the servant of sin as Jesus said:
- (John 8:34,35) Jesus answered them,
Truly, truly, I say to you, Whoever commits sin is the servant of sin.
35 And the servant stays not in the house for ever: but
the Son stays ever.
If you are a slave to sin, you can be freed. Jesus – who said those
words – is a friend of sinners (Matthew 11:19) as His enemies called Him. He
welcomes sinners -- people like you and me:
- (Luke 15:1,2) Then drew near to him
all the publicans and sinners for to hear him.
2 And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This
man receives sinners, and eats with them.
So, if you are suffering from homosexuality or are in some other way a
slave to sin, you can be freed if you turn to Jesus Christ. He has promised to
make you free:
- (John 8:36) If the Son therefore shall
make you free, you shall be free indeed.
Homosexuality
is sin. The most serious thing about homosexuality is that it
is a sin, and those who practice it will not inherit the kingdom of God. Many,
perhaps, do not like to hear this, but it was written nearly 2,000 years ago.
The next verses refer to this:
- (1 Cor 6:9,10) Know you not that the
unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor
adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor
revilers, nor extortionists, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
- (Lev 18:22) You shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
- (Rom 1:26,27) For this cause God gave
them up to vile affections: for even their women did change the natural
use into that which is against nature:
27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of
the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which
is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which
was meet.
- (1 Tim 1:9,10) Knowing this, that the
law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the
ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and
murderers of mothers, for murderers,
10 For fornicators, for them that defile themselves
with mankind, for enslavers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if
there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;
- (Jude 1:7) Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them in like manner, giving
themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set
forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
The next example illustrates how important it is to understand that
practicing homosexuality and lust is a sin. If one does not understand this, he
can never find peace with God and get a clear conscience. It also bars his
possibility to be saved:
I
remember another person who, too, consulted doctors often. He came to talk also
with me. People have prayed for him a lot, but he did not find peace with God.
Everybody said: “Just believe in God. That is enough.” But the Lord told me
about the matter and I dared to ask the patient a frightening question: “Are
you a homosexual?” He said: “How can you know?” I answered: “The Lord showed me
that.” “It happened as I was still young”, he said. “Have you confessed this
sin to the Lord? When you confess your sin, you will be healed”, I answered.
“But that’s not a sin. It’s an illness.” I said: “Then I cannot help you.” I
said goodbye to the patient. Six weeks later he came to me and said: “Now I am
convinced that it is a sin.” I said again: “Confess it to the Lord.” He
answered: “I cannot do it.” For a half hour we battled for his soul, until he
confessed his acts to the Lord. From that day he has been a happy man. Never
again did he have to go to a mental hospital. Happiness could be seen on his face!
There is power in the blood of Jesus Christ. God gives the fullness of His Holy
Spirit so that we can help people to freedom. People are enslaved by sin, and a
superficial message about Jesus cannot free them. (14)
Many may think that homosexuality is not a sin and defend it in the name
of love and tolerance. But we should ask ourselves: If the Bible verses above
are true, does it not make things different? Seen in this light, these defenses
supporting or accepting homosexuality only lead other people away from God and
even to damnation. People who do not take care of the souls of others make
themselves, in a way, greater authorities than the Bible when they claim that
the verses are a lie. Perhaps just these people are those through whom offenses come, as Jesus said in Luke 17:1-2 (See also James 3:1-2.).
The most important thing,
however, is that no-one has to go to hell because of homosexuality or any other
sin. If we turn to God and repent, then everything can change and we will
receive forgiveness in our life.
This is based on what took place nearly 2,000
years ago through Jesus. The Bible tells us very clearly that God sent Him -
Jesus the Messiah - because God loved the world and each of us:
- (John 3:16) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but
have everlasting life.
The Bible tells us that when Christ came to the
Earth, he took away the sin of the world by dying on the cross. Because the sin
of the world was put onto Him and taken away, our sins were also taken away.
This enables God to forgive us for our sins, and gives us a new life here on
Earth, if we want to receive it:
- (John 1:29) The next day John sees Jesus coming to him, and said, Behold the Lamb
of God, which takes away the sin of the world.
- (2 Cor 6:1,2) We then, as workers
together with him, beseech you also that you receive not the grace of God in
vain.
2 (For he said, I have heard you in a time accepted, and
in the day of salvation have I succored you: behold, now is the accepted time;
behold, now is the day of salvation.)
BECOMING
PART OF LIFE. If someone has gone away from God for a long time, he or she can still
be saved and have a connection with Him. He or she can also overcome his or her
tendencies, so that they will not control the main part of his or her life. The
next issues are connected to this:
Coming to the heavenly father. The first step is to turn to the Heavenly Father. This can only be done through
Jesus Christ, just as Jesus Himself said:
- (John 14:6) Jesus said to
him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes to the Father,
but by me.
So, when you personally turn to God through Jesus Christ, you can tell
Him that you want to be in connection with Him and that you need salvation.
Luke15 tells the story of the prodigal son. The son confessed his sins and
returned to his father. As a result, the father was filled with compassion for
him and ran to him. Our Heavenly Father's attitude towards you and all of us
who turn to Him is the same:
- (Luke 15:18-20) I will arise and
go to my father, and will say to him,
Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before you,
19 And am no more worthy to be called your son: make me
as one of your hired servants.
20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was
yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and
ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
Understand God's love! Next, understand that God loves you. He has loved you always, even when
you did not know Him. It has been written:
- (Rom 5:6-8) For when we were yet
without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet
peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
8 But God commends his love toward us, in that, while we
were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
You must also understand that the same applies to the present if you
have turned to God. God's love does not depend on how successful your life has
been or how well you have defeated sin, it is full-time love. This is what
Paul's letter to the Romans says about it:
- (Rom. 8:35, 39) Who shall
separate us from the love of Christ…
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature,
shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus
our Lord.
Trust! The third important thing is that you trust in the power of God in your
life. This is based on the fact that you have been grafted onto Christ (John
15:5). When you are tempted (and that certainly will happen!), you can
look at Christ and wait for Him to do what to you is impossible. You will certainly not become perfect in the
blink of an eye, but you can rely on His help in your life:
- (Phil 1:6) Being confident of this very thing, that he which has begun a good work
in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
So, if you have a
temptation or tendency towards homosexuality, remember that you can conquer it in
the same way that you can conquer anger, criticism, alcoholism, and other sins:
by the power of Jesus Christ. This was very common in the early congregation
and we can certainly expect it now. You must only turn to God and wait for His
miracle to happen in your life:
- (Tit 3:3-5) For we ourselves also
were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and
pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Savior
toward man appeared,
5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but
according to his mercy He saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and
renewing of the Holy Ghost;
References:
1. Jerry Arterburn:
Kun kulissit kaatuvat (How Will I Tell My Mother), p.131
2. Same, p. 73
3. Andrew Comiskey: Täyteen miehuuteen ja koko
naiseksi (Pursuing Sexual Wholeness), p. 131
4. Leanne Payne: Särkynyt minäkuva (The Broken
Image), p. 46
5. Andrew Comiskey: Täyteen miehuuteen ja koko
naiseksi (Pursuing Sexual Wholeness),
p. 139,140
6. Leanne Payne:
Särkynyt minäkuva (The Broken Image), p. 84, 85
7. Jerry Arterburn:
Kun kulissit kaatuvat (How Will I Tell My Mother), p. 39,40
8. Carlos Annacondia: Kuuntele minua Saatana! (Listen
to me, satan!), p. 122
9. Leanne Payne: Särkynyt minäkuva (The Broken
Image), p.30
10. Roland Werner: Toisenlainen rakkaus
(Homosexualität – ein Schicksal?), p.48
11. Same, p.50,51
12. Näky-magazine 4 / 2008, p. 10-12
13. Andrew Comiskey:
Täyteen mieheyteen ja koko naiseksi (Pursuing Sexual Wholeness), p. 171,172
14. Michael Harry: Te
saatte voiman, p. 75
THE MOST IMPORTANT SOURCES:
Arterburn jerry: How Will I Tell My Mother
Comiskey Andrew: Pursuing Sexual Wholeness
Payne Leanne: The Broken Image
Werner Roland: Homosexualität – ein Schicksal?
