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Ubukwe butabogamye hamwe nabana
Ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye hamwe n’abana, ni ukuvuga uburyo uburenganzira bw’ikiremwamuntu bukandagirwa iyo bangiwe uburenganzira ku babyeyi babyaranye - bakoresheje nk'impamvu uburenganzira bwa muntu n'uburinganire bw'abantu bakuru
Iyi ngingo ivuga ku ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye ndetse n'ingaruka z'imiterere y'umuryango ku bana. Abashyigikira uburinganire-bushingiye ku gitsina kandi baharanira ubwisanzure mu mibonano mpuzabitsina muri sosiyete, ntibakunze kureba ibintu ukurikije abana. Ntibazirikana ingaruka amahitamo yabantu bakuru namategeko bigira kubana. Aba bantu bavuga gusa uburinganire, uburenganzira bwa muntu n’ubusumbane bw’imibereho, ariko bakibagirwa ko abana nabo bagomba kugira uburenganzira bwa muntu. Bagomba kugira uburenganzira kuva bakivuka kugeza kubabyeyi babo bombi. Nibibazo niba ibi bidatanzwe. Kutagira se no kutagira nyina bifatwa nkibisanzwe kandi byifuzwa. Abana rero bategerejweho kumenyera ko ubwo burenganzira shingiro bwakuweho ndetse bakanabushimira. Birasanzwe kandi ko iyi ngingo igerageza guhindura ibiganiro byerekeranye nabana ku gitekerezo kivuga ko kurwanya ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye byerekana abaryamana bahuje ibitsina n'inzangano ku bahuje ibitsina. Abantu bavuga ibi batekereza ko bazi kandi bumva ibitekerezo byimbere numutima wumuntu utemeranya nibitekerezo byabo. Ntibazirikana ko ushobora kutemeranya kubintu ukurikije ukuri gusa, ariko ntukange umuntu. Abashyigikiye ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye na bo bananiwe kuzirikana ko abaryamana bahuje ibitsina ubwabo barwanya iki kibazo. Babona ko bibangamira uburenganzira bw'umwana kuri se na nyina. Abahakanamana bahuje ibitsina Bongibault yabitangaje mu kiganiro (Wendy Wright, Abahuje ibitsina b'Abafaransa bifatanya mu myigaragambyo yo kurwanya ababana bahuje ibitsina):
KUKI ABANTU BASHYIGIKIRA UBURINGANIRE-NUBUTABOGAMYE? Mugihe ugerageza kumenya ubwoko bwimyumvire abantu bafite kubijyanye no kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina - ni ireme kavukire cyangwa biterwa nibintu bimwe na bimwe byabayeho ndetse nuburyo umuntu yabyitwayemo - abantu bakunze kwerekeza kumahitamo ya mbere. Iki kintu muri rusange gifatwa nkimpengamiro ivuka Kutavuka kw'abahuje igitsina kandi birasabwa kandi n'abitwa benshi bahagarariye ihuriro ry'abakristu bahuje ibitsina (hano muri Finlande, urugero, Yhteys-movement na Tulkaa kaikki-movement) . Liisa Tuovinen, umuyobozi w’umutwe wa Yhteys, yazanye iyi myumvire rusange mu kiganiro kuri televiziyo mu 2002:
N'ubundi kandi, Pawulo ntabwo afite igitekerezo cyo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina, kikaba ari ikintu kavukire kiranga abantu ku buryo kidashobora guhinduka. (2)
Iyo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina byumvikana nk'ikiranga kavukire, rwose ni imwe mu mpamvu zikomeye zituma ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye ndetse n'imibereho y'abahuje ibitsina bibonwa neza muri iki gihe. Bikekwa ko niba ari ivuka riranga ibara ryuruhu cyangwa ibumoso, ubwo ntibikwiye kurengera ubuzima bwabahuje ibitsina nabantu bafite ibintu nkibi? Ntabwo bikwiye gushyigikira abantu muguhitamo kwabo? Ariko ukuri kwiki nikihe? Abaryamana bahuje igitsina ubwabo ubwabo bahakana ko kavukire. Bamwe bashobora kuvuga ko kavukire, ariko benshi bemeza ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina hamwe n'ibihe byagize uruhare mu kuvuka kwabo. Ibi byari ibitekerezo bisanzwe no muri psychologiya mumyaka mike ishize. Nibintu rero bisa nuburakari cyangwa kuki abagizi ba nabi bakomoka mubintu runaka. Ntamuntu numwe ushobora guhitamo ibihe byuburere bwabo nibyakorewe, ariko umuntu arashobora kwihitiramo niba ashaka kubabarira, niba azaba umunyabyaha cyangwa gukora ubutinganyi. Ashobora gutwarwa no gukora ibi bintu, ariko kurwego runaka arashobora guhitamo uko ashaka kubaho:
Nasomye ubushakashatsi bushimishije ninzobere: bwari ubushakashatsi bwo kumenya umubare wabantu bahuje igitsina bahuje igitsina bizera ko bavutse gutya. Mirongo inani na gatanu ku ijana by'ababajijwe bemeje ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina ari uburyo bwize bwo kwitwara buterwa n'ingaruka zangiza hakiri kare mu rugo rwabo no gushukwa n'undi muntu. Muri iki gihe, ikibazo cyanjye cya mbere iyo mbonanye n'abaryamana bahuje igitsina ni ubusanzwe, “Ninde waguhaye imbaraga zo kubikora?” Bose barashobora kunsubiza. Nzakubaza noneho, "Byakugendekeye bite nubusambanyi bwawe niba utarahuye na nyirarume, cyangwa niba mubyara wawe atarinjiye mubuzima bwawe? Cyangwa udafite so? Utekereza ko byari kugenda bite? ” Nigihe inzogera zitangiye kwishyurwa. Bati: “Birashoboka, birashoboka, birashoboka.” (3)
Ole ntabwo yemera ariko ko hari ubwoko bwa "genoside". Yizera ko ibitera ibyiyumvo byo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina bigoye cyane, kandi avuga nk'urugero, ko azi ibice byinshi by'impanga zisa kimwe muri byo gusa umwe muri bo akaba ari abaryamana bahuje igitsina. Ole yemera ko ibintu byinshi byagize uruhare mu myitwarire ye, nk'umubano we utoroshye kandi mubi na se akiri umwana. Ole ntasubira inyuma iyo avuga umubano we na se akiri umwana. Yumvaga ko se atigeze ahari kandi atinya se. Rimwe na rimwe se yari afite uburakari bukabije, kandi Ole yumvaga inshuro nke ko se yamusuzuguye nkana. Ole avuga yeruye ko yangaga se. (4)
Harri ashishikajwe no kuganira kubyerekeye kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina mu bitangazamakuru kandi yiga ku kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina. Yizera ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina ntaho bihuriye cyane n'impamvu zavutse. Ashingira iki gitekerezo, kurugero, kuba akenshi byoroshye kumenya impamvu abantu bafite irari ry'abahuje ibitsina. Mubisanzwe bakorewe ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina cyangwa bafitanye umubano utoroshye nababyeyi cyangwa urungano. Harri agira ati: "Ibi byanyemeje ko atari mbere na mbere ku bijyanye na gen. Icyakora, sinkeka ko bidashoboka ko abantu bamwe bagira genes zimwe na zimwe zituma bashobora kwanduzwa cyane no guhuza ibitsina." (5)
Ku bimwerekeye, Tepi yemera ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina biterwa no kuba afite icyuho cy'amarangamutima agerageza kuzuza. Tepi avuga ko yatinyaga se akiri umwana kandi ko agifite "gutinya abagabo". Tepi avuga ko arimo gushaka umubyeyi mu bagore. Nubwo Tepi atekereza ku mpamvu zamuteye lesbianism, avuga kandi ku bijyanye no gukunda abagore ati: "Nkuko byagenze mu buryo butangaje, rimwe na rimwe nibazaga rwose uko bishobora kugenda." Ku rundi ruhande, yizera ko hari n'impamvu yabyo. Tepi ntabwo yemera ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina biterwa na gen cyangwa ko umuntu ashobora kuba abaryamana bahuje ibitsina cyangwa abanya lesbiyani kuva akivuka. Kuri we, umuntu akura abaryamana bahuje ibitsina cyangwa abanya lesbiyani, kabone niyo yaba adafite ibibazo bidasanzwe. (6)
Nibyo, Njye, kimwe nabantu benshi bahuje igitsina, nibaza aho abaryamana bahuje igitsina baturuka. Nizera ko imiterere yumwana ibaho mumyaka itatu yambere yubuzima, harimo nigitsina. Ibi byatewe nibidukikije ndetse nibinyabuzima byabantu. Ntabwo nemera na gato ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina ari umurage. Kuri bamwe mu ncuti zanjye, kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina biragoye rwose kuko batinya kuragwa. (7)
Ese kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina biterwa na gen? Nkuko byavuzwe, ibisobanuro bisanzwe mubisanzwe kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina ubu ni uko bivuka kandi biterwa na gen, cyangwa imisemburo isohoka mugihe utwite. Abantu batekereza ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina biterwa ahanini n'ibinyabuzima. Ariko, ibi bisobanuro ntabwo bishyigikiwe nubushakashatsi ku mpanga. Impanga zisa zifite genes zimwe hamwe nibidukikije bimwe munda, nyamara umwe muribo arashobora gushishikazwa nuburinganire bwabo. Niba kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina byatewe na gen ibi ntibikwiye. Amagambo akurikira yavuye mu bushakashatsi bunini kuri iyo ngingo, bwakorewe muri Kanada kandi bukubiyemo amasomo agera ku 20.000. Irerekana ko gen hamwe nu murage atari ikintu gifatika mu nkomoko yo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina.
Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe ku mpanga muri Kanada bwerekanye ko ibintu by’imibereho ari ngombwa kuruta gen (…) Ibisubizo byubushakashatsi byerekana ko ingirabuzimafatizo zidafite akamaro kanini. Niba imwe mu mpanga imwe ihwanye n'abaryamana bahuje igitsina, hashobora kubaho 6.7% ko izindi mpanga nazo zashishikazwaga n'abantu bahuje igitsina. Ijanisha ryimpanga zidasa ni 7.2% naho abavandimwe basanzwe 5.5%. Ibisubizo ntabwo bivuguruzanya cyane na genetike yavuzwe haruguru yo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina. Ibidukikije impanga zikurira imbere muri nyababyeyi ya nyina birasa neza nimpanga zombi mubijyanye na hormone, bityo ibisubizo byatanzwe na Bearman na Brucker bivuguruza igitekerezo kivuga ko ubusumbane mumisemburo ya nyina mugihe cyo gutwita butera abaryamana bahuje igitsina. . Bearman na Brucker bavuga ko ubushakashatsi bwabo aribwo bwizewe cyane kuko bwari bushingiye ku bushakashatsi bwakozwe ku bushakashatsi bwakozwe n'urubyiruko harimo n'igihugu cyose. Hariho amasomo agera ku 20.000! Byongeye kandi, abashakashatsi ntibashingiye ku byo umwe mu mpanga zombi yavuze ku bijyanye n’igitsina cy’impanga: Ahubwo, bagiye ku zindi mpanga bababaza ibyerekeye. (8)
Abashakashatsi bahuje ibitsina muri rusange ntibemera imiterere yavukanye yo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina. Olli Stålström, umwe mu bagize umuryango washinze umutwe wa Seta wo muri Finilande, yazanye iki kibazo mu gitabo cye cyitwa Homoseksuaalisuuden sairausleiman loppu (Iherezo ryo gupfobya abaryamana bahuje ibitsina nk'indwara, 1997). Yavuze ko abashakashatsi bahuje ibitsina badashyigikiye igitekerezo cya "Navutse ari gay". Yavuze ku nama ebyiri z'ubumenyi zitabiriwe n'abahanga babarirwa mu magana:
Inama ebyiri za siyansi mu Kuboza 1987 zishobora kugaragara nk'ingingo ikomeye mu mateka… ririmo abashakashatsi 100 bahuje ibitsina baturutse mu bihugu 22 bitandukanye mu matsinda 100 akora… Ihuriro kandi ryemeje ko bidakwiye gusimbuza ishyirwa mu byiciro by’abahuje ibitsina nk’indwara yo mu mutwe hamwe n’ibitekerezo bya kamere kavukire. Byagaragaye ko ari ngombwa kwanga muri rusange igitekerezo cyingenzi cyo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina, ukurikije uko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina bifite ishingiro ridashingiye ku gihe n'umuco bifite impamvu runaka. (urup. 299-300)
Abana basanzwe . Kimwe mu byerekana uburyo imibonano mpuzabitsina ifitanye isano nibihe nibidukikije ni abana bato batereranye kubana ninyamaswa. Ntabwo rwose bashishikajwe nigitsina. Ibi byerekana ko igitsina cyabantu nacyo giterwa nimpamvu zimibereho. Ibinyabuzima ntabwo aribyo byonyine byerekana. Umushakashatsi wa psychologiya yiterambere akaba n'umwarimu wungirije wa psychologiya, Risto Vuorinen, avuga mu gitabo cye Minän synty ja kehitys [Ivuka niterambere ryigenga] (1997) kubyerekeye aba bana bato batereranywe, bitwa abana ba feri, barezwe ninyamaswa. Niba imibonano mpuzabitsina igenwa na gen gusa, ntihari kubaho ibibazo nkibi:
Kudahuza ibitsina byabana ni ikintu gikomeye. Nubwo bakuze kumubiri, ntibagaragaza inyungu zishingiye ku mibonano mpuzabitsina ... Birasa nkaho hari igihe gikomeye cyo gutera imbere kwimibonano mpuzabitsina.
Benshi mu bashyigikiye ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye ubwabo bemeye mu buryo butaziguye ko impaka zavutse atari ukuri cyangwa zifite ishingiro. Umwe muribo ni John Corvino, utemera ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina ari ibintu kavukire. Yavuze ati: "Ariko impaka mbi ni impaka mbi, nubwo imyanzuro yaba ishimishije - kandi y'ukuri - ishobora kuvamo" (9) Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko indangamuntu ishobora no guhinduka kurwego runaka uko imyaka igenda ishira, ariko akenshi mubyerekezo bisanzwe bidahuje igitsina. Ku rubyiruko bamwe, indangamuntu yabo irashobora kuba idasobanutse, ariko uko imyaka igenda ishira, benshi muribo bazabona indangamuntu isanzwe:
Ubushakashatsi bunini bw’Abanyamerika bwasohowe mu 2007 ku bijyanye n’imihindagurikire y’imibonano mpuzabitsina y’imyaka 16-22 yerekana ko icyerekezo cy’abahuje ibitsina cyangwa abahuje ibitsina cyikubye inshuro 25 guhinduka mu bahuje ibitsina mu gihe cyumwaka umwe. Ku rubyiruko rwinshi, ibyiyumvo byo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina bigenda bigabanuka uko imyaka igenda ishira. Abagera kuri 70 ku ijana by'abahungu bafite imyaka 17 y'amavuko bagaragaje ko bashishikajwe no kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina bagaragaje ko badahuje igitsina bafite imyaka 22. (Savin-Williams & Ream 2007: 385 pp.) (10)
ESE ITEGEKO RY'UBUSHAKASHATSI RITANDUKANYE? Impamvu imwe ku ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye ni uko amategeko gakondo yo gushyingirwa atavangura. Niyo mpamvu abashyigikiye ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye bavuga ku buringanire no kurwanya ivangura, iyo barengera ibitekerezo byabo. Itangazamakuru rishobora kandi gutanga ubutumwa bwanditse neza bujyanye n'uburenganzira bwa muntu n'uburinganire.
Uburenganzira bwo gushyingirwa kubantu bose bakuze no guhindura ibisobanuro byubukwe . Iyo uvuga ivangura rishingiye ku mategeko gakondo yo gushyingirwa, hagomba kuvugwa ko abantu bakuru bose bafite uburenganzira bwo gushyingirwa. Hano nta na kimwe kidasanzwe. Umugabo cyangwa umugore wese ukuze arashobora gushyingiranwa nabahuje igitsina. Amategeko gakondo yo gushyingirwa rero asanzwe angana kandi ntavangura umuntu. Kuvuga ukundi binyuranye nukuri. Ahubwo, umuhate wo kwagura abashakanye bahuje ibitsina nawo uhindura ibisobanuro byubukwe. Ijambo gushyingirwa rifata ibisobanuro bishya bitari bifite mbere. Ninkaho kuvuga ko, kurugero, umubano usanzwe wakazi hagati yumukoresha numukozi bisobanura gushyingirwa, cyangwa ko igare nindege ari imodoka, nubwo atari byo. Ijambo, mu binyejana byinshi mumateka yumuntu ryumvikanye risobanura gusa isano iri hagati yumugabo numugore, bityo ihinduka mubisobanuro iyindi itandukanye binyuze mubitekerezo bidafite aho bibogamiye byubukwe. Irahindura imyitozo yiganje mumico yose ikomeye mumyaka ibihumbi.
Ubundi buryo bwo gukundana. Kuvuga ko itegeko ry’abashakanye ridafite aho ribogamiye rizakuraho ubusumbane n’ivangura ni impaka mbi kuko hari ubundi bwoko bwimibanire. Kuberako niba umubano waryamana bahuje igitsina witwa ubukwe, nigute umuntu ashobora gutsindishiriza gukumira ubundi bwoko bwimibanire mumategeko amwe? Kuki abantu bake bahuje igitsina bonyine bagomba gushyirwa mumategeko yubukwe? Niba dukurikiza ibitekerezo bimwe abantu ubu bagerageza kurengera iki kibazo, ubwoko bwimibanire ikurikira nayo igomba gushyirwa murwego rwamategeko. Niba bakumiriwe, ni, ukurikije logique imwe, ivangura no gushyigikira ubusumbane. Ibisubizo nkibi bigerwaho niba dukurikije ibitekerezo byabashyigikiye ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye nigihe duhinduye ibisobanuro byijambo gushyingirwa:
• Isano iri hagati ya nyina numukobwa, nkuko babana murugo rumwe
• Umuntu, ubana n'imbwa ye
• Imibanire myinshi
• Abanyeshuri babiri baba mucyumba kimwe
• Imibonano mpuzabitsina nayo ni bumwe. Ndetse n'abashyigikira ababana bahuje ibitsina muri rusange ntibemera iyo mibanire kuko babona ko ari bibi. Ariko, abafite imyumvire mibi yubukwe butabogamye barashobora kubyanga kubwimpamvu imwe. Bashobora kubona ko ari bibi.
Porofeseri, Anto Leikola, yanditse kuri iki kibazo mu kinyamakuru Yliopisto [Kaminuza] (8/1996) afite umutwe wa Olisiko rakkauskin rekisteröitävä? [Urukundo rukwiye no kwandikwa?] . Yavuze ko mu gukurikiza ibitekerezo bimwe, bidahuye no kugabanya ikibazo ku bahuje ibitsina gusa. Ni ukubera iki bikwiye gushyirwa gusa murwego rwamategeko yubukwe, mugihe hari ubundi bwoko bwimibanire itandukanye nibisanzwe?
Byagenda bite se niba abavandimwe babiri bafatanye cyane, bashaka gutunga inzu hamwe nibindi byinshi, ndetse bakanafata umwana hamwe? Kuki bikwiye kubagora kuruta abaryamana bahuje igitsina? Ni ukubera ko hariho urukundo hagati yanyuma, ariko ntiruri hagati yambere, cyangwa hagati yinshuti gusa? … Muri rusange, kwandikisha ubufatanye ni ibirori mbonezamubano… Niba amahirwe nk'aya ahabwa abantu bahuje igitsina, sinumva impamvu igomba kugarukira ku bahuje ibitsina. Cyangwa twibwira ko abantu bose bahuje igitsina, babana kandi bafatanye, ni abaryamana bahuje igitsina? Cyangwa turatekereza ko kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina ntaho bihuriye no guhuza ibitsina ... Niba tubona ko ari byiza kwandikisha imibonano mpuzabitsina, ariko atari abandi, noneho kuba ari ikibazo cyo kwandikisha icyerekezo cy'imibonano mpuzabitsina,
Abaryamana bahuje igitsina benshi ntibashaka ubukwe . Iyo ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye rimaze gukurikiranwa, imwe mu ngingo z'ingenzi ni ukurwanya ivangura n'ubusumbane. Byatekerejweho ko gushyingirwa kutabogamye, aho ababana bahuje ibitsina bashobora gushyingiranwa, bizakuraho ivangura. Ikigaragara ni uko ariko muri ibyo bihugu aho gushyingiranwa kw'abahuje ibitsina bimaze igihe kinini, bake gusa ni bo bifuzaga kurushinga. Mu Buholandi, gushyingiranwa kw'abahuje ibitsina bimaze imyaka icumi, ariko 20% gusa by'abashakanye bahuje ibitsina barashyingirwa. Ugereranije n'abantu ku giti cyabo, umubare ni muto. Dukurikije ibigereranyo bimwe, 8% gusa byabantu bahuje igitsina binjira mubukwe. Mubikorwa, imibare yerekana ko umubare muto wabantu bahuje igitsina ari bo bashishikajwe no gushaka. Ahubwo, benshi muribo ntibifuzaga (bakurikije imitekerereze yabashyigikiye) kugira uburinganire nubwisanzure bwo kuvangura.
ITANGAZO RY'ABANA . Nkuko byavuzwe, gushyingirwa kutabogamye bifite ishingiro bivuye ku buringanire kandi nkikibazo cyuburenganzira bwa muntu. Byasobanuwe ko kwakira iki kibazo byakuraho akarengane k’amategeko. Nyamara, iyi ngingo yasuzumwe gusa uhereye kubantu bakuru kandi abana baribagiwe. Amategeko yo gushyingiranwa atagira aho abogamiye ni ikibazo cy’uburenganzira bwa muntu, ariko ikinyuranyo cy’ibivugwa: bisobanura guhonyora uburenganzira bwa muntu. Kuberako muribyo bihe aho abashakanye bahuje igitsina bagambiriye kubyara (birashoboka, kurugero, binyuze mumabanki yintanga no gukodesha inda cyangwa ko umwe mubaryamana bahuje igitsina yabaye mubucuti bwigihe gito), bivuze gutandukanya umwana na se wamubyaye cyangwa nyina kuva akivuka gusa kuberako abantu bakuru babona ko gushyingirwa kutabogamye ari uburenganzira bwabo. Amategeko yo gushyingiranwa adafite aho abogamiye rero avangura abana yishyuye abantu bakuru. Ubwisanzure bwabantu bakuru bushyirwa imbere yuburenganzira bwibanze bwabana. Hariho birumvikana ko ibihe umwana agomba gukura adafite se cyangwa nyina, ariko nibindi bitandukanye guhindura nkana umwana nkana se cyangwa nyina kugirango yuzuze ibyifuzo byabantu bakuru. Ibi nibibaho mubukwe butabogamye aho abana baboneka. Mu Bufaransa, abaryamana bahuje ibitsina benshi ubwabo bafashe icyemezo kuri iki kibazo. Babona ko itegeko ry’ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye ribangamira uburenganzira umwana afite kuri se na nyina. Niyo mpamvu banze gushyingirwa kutabogamye:
Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Ndi abaryamana bahuje igitsina… Ndwanya ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye, kuko ndwanira uburenganzira bw'umwana bwo kugira se na nyina. (11)
Jean-Marc Veyron la Croix: Umuntu wese afite aho agarukira: kuba nta mwana mfite kandi ko nkumbuye umwana ntabwo bimpa uburenganzira bwo gukura urukundo rwumubyeyi kumwana. (12)
Hervé Jourdan: Umwana ni imbuto y'urukundo kandi agomba kuguma nk'imbuto y'urukundo. (13)
Kubyara . Ku bijyanye n'imibanire idahuje igitsina, bafite itandukaniro rimwe rinini ugereranije n'imibonano mpuzabitsina: gusa imibonano mpuzabitsina idahuje igitsina irashobora kubyara, aba nyuma ntibashobora. Iyi nayo ni imwe mu mpamvu zikomeye zituma gushyingirwa kw'umugabo n'umugore ari intangiriro nziza kubana. Iha abana amahirwe yo gukura barerwa na se na nyina ubabyara kuva bagitangira. Ku rundi ruhande, ikibazo cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina bahuje ibitsina, ni uko niba abana babonetse binyuze mu mibonano mpuzabitsina idahuje igitsina cyangwa binyuze mu buryo bw’ubukorikori nko gukodesha inda cyangwa amabanki y’intanga, bituma umwana aba se cyangwa se. Yabuze byibuze umwe mubabyeyi be bamubyaye murugo, bashobora gukura. Umwana agomba kubaho adafite undi mubyeyi ubyara kuva mbere kubera amahitamo y'abakuze. Abo ubwabo bakuriye mu muryango w'abahuje igitsina banenze umuco wo kwambura umwana uburenganzira bwa se cyangwa nyina muri ubu buryo; mu kwiyambaza uburinganire hagati yabantu bakuru. Bambuwe uburenganzira kuri umwe mu babyeyi babo. Jean-Dominique Bunel, wakuranye na nyina wa lesbiyani na mugenzi we w’umugore, avuga uko yabibonye. Yababajwe no kubura se. Ahandi hose, avuga kandi ko niba ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye rimaze gukurikizwa igihe yari amaze gukura, yari kurega leta, kuko byatumaga ihohoterwa ry'uburenganzira bw'umwana we:
Igitekerezo gikurikira nacyo gikemura iki kibazo. Kubura se cyangwa nyina nimpamvu ituma abana basanga gukura mubana bahuje ibitsina bigoye. Ntabwo ari ikibazo cyo kumenya niba umubyeyi umwe abaryamana bahuje igitsina badahagije mu kurera, ahubwo ni ikibazo cyo kwambura umwana nkana umubyeyi we ubyara akivuka:
Robert Oscar Lopez (2012) aranenga imvugo yo kuryamana kw'abahuje ibitsina nk'urwikekwe kandi rufite ibitekerezo bigufi, kubera ko nanone ivuga ko abantu nka we ari abaryamana bahuje ibitsina, wakuriye mu rugo rw'abashakanye bahuje ibitsina, babayeho igice kinini cy'ubuzima bwabo mu muco w'abahuje ibitsina, ariko bakomeje kurwanya ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye kuko bumva rihungabanya uburenganzira bw'umwana kuri se na nyina. Nk’uko Lopez abitangaza ngo biragoye kwitwa ko ari abaryamana bahuje ibitsina kubera ko avuga yeruye ko yagize ikibazo cyo kubura se bitoroshye mu gihe yakuriye mu rugo rwa nyina na mugenzi we w'umugore. "Niba ababana bahuje ibitsina bashaka kwigana urugero rw’ababyeyi badahuje igitsina binyuze mu gusama, gutera intanga mu buryo bwa gihanga, gutandukana, cyangwa kurera mu bucuruzi, bahura n'ingaruka nyinshi z’imyitwarire. Abana, usanga bari muri izo ngaruka z’imyitwarire, bazi neza uruhare rwababyeyi babo mugushinga ubuzima butesha umutwe kandi bwamarangamutima butandukanya numuco gakondo nkumunsi wa papa na mama. Imyanya y'abana iragora, iyo bitwa 'abaryamana bahuje ibitsina' kubera gusa ko bababajwe - kandi bakabyemera - imihangayiko isanzwe bahabwa n'ababyeyi babo. (Lopez 2013.) (15)
Iyo abana babonetse muburyo bwubukorikori nko gukodesha inda na banki yintanga, tugomba guhura nibibazo byinshi byimyitwarire. Ikibazo cyo gukodesha inda nuko umubyeyi agomba gutererana umwana atwaye. Byashyizweho nkintego mugukodesha nyababyeyi. Biteganijwe ko azahagarika ibyiyumvo afitiye umwana kandi arabishyuwe. Agurisha uburenganzira bwe kumwana ashobora kutazongera kubona. Ariko, kuri benshi ibi bishobora kuba byari biremereye cyane kubera ubushake bwababyeyi, aribyo byatumye bashaka guhagarika amasezerano yo gusama. Aba bagore basobanukiwe ko bakunda umwana imbere muri bo, bigatuma bahindura ibitekerezo. Byongeye kandi, gukodesha inda ni ikibazo kubana. Kuberako iyo umubyeyi aretse uburenganzira bwe kumwana, umwana arashobora kubibona nko gutererana. Ibibazo bishobora kuvuka kuri we, impamvu nyina yamugurishije amafaranga kandi ntabyiteho. Mubandi, urubuga rwa Alana Newman AnonymousUS.org ruvuga ibyabaye nibyiyumvo byabana nkabo. Frank Litgvoet, ubana mu mibonano mpuzabitsina bahuje igitsina, avuga nta buryarya urubanza nk'urwo. Avuga ku bana be bamureze babuze nyina. Byari bigoye kandi birababaza abana kumva impamvu nyina yasize abana be mbere:
Ikibazo cyumwana "utagira nyina" mukurera kumugaragaro ntabwo cyoroshye nkuko bigaragara, kuko kirimo umubyeyi ubyara, winjira mubuzima bwumwana hanyuma akagenda. Kandi iyo umubyeyi adahari kumubiri, aracyahari, nkuko tubizi mumateka yabana benshi barezwe bageze mubukure, bagaragara mubyifuzo, amashusho, kwifuza, no guhangayika. Kugera kwa mama mubuzima bwabana bacu mubisanzwe nibyiza cyane. Biragoye kubana iyo umubyeyi avuye, sibyo gusa kuko birababaje gusezera kumuntu mukuru ukundwa, ariko nanone kuko bitera ikibazo kitoroshye kandi kibabaza cyimpamvu umubyeyi yasize umwana we. (16)
Tuvuge iki ku myitwarire ya banki yintanga no kuvura ifumbire? Bashingiye ku kuba abagabo batanze ku bushake intanga zabo kugira ngo batewe intanga, bityo rero abo bagabo ntibazabura rwose kugira ibyiyumvo bigoye bishobora kubaho no gukodesha nyababyeyi. Ariko, ikibazo cyo kuvura uburumbuke nuko baremerera abana umutwaro wo kutagira se. Abana babyaye ibihangano barashobora kumva bigoye cyane mugihe umubyeyi yabashyize nkana muburyo badashobora kumenya no guhura na se. Tapio Puolimatka asobanura ubushakashatsi bw’indwara zo mu mutwe za kaminuza ya Yale Kyle Pruett ubushakashatsi kuri iyo ngingo (Kyle Pruett: Padiri, New York, Broadway, 2000). Biragoye ko abana babaho muburyo butandukanye hagati badafite umubano na se ubabyara:
Umuganga w’indwara zo mu mutwe wa kaminuza ya Yale, Kyle Pruett (2000: 207) asoza ashingiye ku bushakashatsi bwe avuga ko abana bavutse batewe no gutera intanga kandi barezwe nta se bafite "inzara yo guhara kwa se burundu". Ubushakashatsi bwe bujyanye nubushakashatsi bwo gutandukana nububyeyi umwe bugaragaza kubura se. Ubushakashatsi bwa Pruett bugaragaza kandi ko abana bavutse batewe no gutera intanga, badafite amakuru kuri se, bafite ibibazo byimbitse kandi bitesha umutwe ku nkomoko y’ibinyabuzima ndetse n’umuryango bakomokamo. Aba bana ntibazi se cyangwa umuryango wa se, kandi birababaje kubana muburyo butandukanye hagati yubusabane nta mibanire na se ubabyara (Pruett 2000: 204-208) (17)
Alana Newman akomeje ku ngingo imwe. We ubwe yavutse mu gutera intanga, yakoresheje intanga ziva mu baterankunga batamenyekanye. Arwanya byimazeyo imyitozo aho umwana yambuwe amahirwe yo kugirana umubano nababyeyi be babyaranye kandi akurira mubyitayeho. Bitewe nubunararibonye bwe, yahuye nibibazo by'irangamuntu n'inzangano ku badahuje igitsina. Mu buhamya yanditse mu Nteko ishinga amategeko ya Californiya, yanditse kuri iyo ngingo:
… Nababajwe n'ibibazo by'irangamuntu byangizaga imitekerereze yanjye, kutizerana no kwanga abo mudahuje igitsina, kumva ko ntabishaka - nkaho nabayeho nkikinisha undi. Numvaga ari nk'ubushakashatsi bwa siyansi. (18)
Akamaro k'ababyeyi ku bana . Gahunda za tereviziyo hamwe n’ibinyamakuru bikunze kuvuga uburyo abana bashaka kubona umubyeyi ubyara batigeze bahura ninde wabuze ubuzima bwabo. Bafite icyifuzo cyo gushaka imizi yabo no guhura na se cyangwa nyina ubyara wabuze. Ibi bimaze kuba byinshi muri iki gihe, urugero kubera kwiyongera kw'abashakanye. Ukurikije uko umwana abibona, kuba ababyeyi babyaranye bombi bahari kandi bakitaho ni ngombwa. Ibi kandi biva mubikorwa byinshi bifatika byubuzima. Abo bana bafitanye umubano n'ababyeyi babo, urugero bitewe n'inzoga, urugomo cyangwa gutandukana bisanzwe, bahura nibibazo byinshi mubuzima bwabo bidakunze kubaho kubana bakuriye mumiryango idahwitse. Urugero ruto rufatika rwerekana ibi. Irerekana uburyo cyane cyane kutagira se, kubura se murugo, nikibazo kigezweho:
Igihe navugiraga mu nkambi runaka y'abagabo i Hume Lake muri Californiya, navuze ko papa usanzwe amarana iminota itatu gusa n'umwanya mwiza w'umwana we kumunsi. Nyuma yinama, umugabo umwe yabajije amakuru yanjye. Yagaya ati: "Mwebwe ababwirizabutumwa muvuga gusa. Nkurikije ubushakashatsi buheruka gukorwa, se usanzwe ntabwo amara iminota itatu buri munsi hamwe nabana be, ahubwo amasegonda 35. " Ndamwemera kuko yakoraga nk'umugenzuzi w'ishuri muri Californiya rwagati. Mubyukuri, yampaye indi mibare itangaje. Mu karere runaka k’ishuri muri Californiya hari abanyeshuri 483 mumashuri yihariye. Nta n'umwe muri abo banyeshuri wari ufite se mu rugo. Mu gace runaka kari mu nkengero za Seattle, 61% by'abana babaho badafite se. Kubura kwa se ni umuvumo muri iki gihe. (19)
Ni mu buhe buryo ibyo bifitanye isano n'ingingo yaganiriweho? Muri make, kuba hari ababyeyi babyaranye bombi, urukundo rwababyeyi bakundana kandi, byanze bikunze, kumwana ni ingenzi kumibereho myiza niterambere. Hariho ubushakashatsi bwinshi bwerekana ko umwana akura kandi akura neza mugihe yemerewe kubana nababyeyi be babyaranye mumuryango ufite amakimbirane make. Niba ingingo yo kugereranya ari abana, bahuye nubutane bwababyeyi cyangwa imiryango ifite umubyeyi umwe, imiryango mishya nubusabane bubana, basanze aribwo buryo bubi muburyo bwo gukura kwabana. Mu mibonano mpuzabitsina bahuje ibitsina, ikibazo kirakomeye (niba abana babonetse binyuze mubucuti bwigihe gito cyangwa muburyo bwubukorikori), kuko muri bo umwana yatandukanijwe byibuze numubyeyi umwe kuva atangiye ubuzima bwe. Ntabwo rwose ari amahitamo meza kubana, nkuko byavuzwe haruguru. Ibitekerezo bike byerekana akamaro ko kugira ababyeyi bombi babyaranye mumuryango. Umuntu uteganya gutandukana nuwo bashakanye agomba gutekereza kabiri. Birumvikana ko nta mubyeyi utunganye, kandi rimwe na rimwe kubana bishobora kuba ngombwa kubera urugero, urugomo. Ariko rero, kubana, inzira nziza ni iy'ababyeyi kumvikana no kwiga kwakirana:
Ubushakashatsi bwerekana neza ko imiterere yumuryango ifitiye akamaro abana kandi ko bashyigikiwe neza nimiryango, ifite ababyeyi babiri babyaranye mubukwe bayobora umuryango, kandi ko amakimbirane yababyeyi ari make. Abana bo mumiryango ifite umubyeyi umwe, abana bavutse kubabyeyi batashyingiranywe, hamwe nabana mumiryango ivanze cyangwa babana bafite ibyago byinshi byo gukura mubyerekezo bibi ... Niyo mpamvu ari ngombwa, kumwana, guteza imbere ingo zikomeye kandi zihamye. hagati y'ababyeyi babyaranye. (21)
Turamutse dusabwe gukora sisitemu kugirango tumenye neza ko ibyo abana bakeneye byose byibanze byitaweho, birashoboka ko twarangirira ahandi, bisa nicyiza cyo kugira ababyeyi babiri. Mubyigisho, gahunda nkiyi ntabwo yemeza gusa ko abana babona umwanya numutungo wabantu bakuru babiri, inatanga uburyo bwo kugenzura no kuringaniza, buteza imbere uburere bwo murwego rwo hejuru. Umubano w’ibinyabuzima byombi n’umwana byongera amahirwe yuko ababyeyi bashoboye kwimenyekanisha hamwe n’umwana kandi biteguye kwigomwa ku mwana. Bigabanya kandi amahirwe yababyeyi bakoresha umwana. (22)
Byerekanwe mu buryo bweruye ko abana badatera imbere, nubwo bita ku mubiri neza niba bafungirwa mu bigo bitagira umuntu, kandi ko gutandukana na nyina - cyane cyane mu bihe bimwe na bimwe - byangiza umwana. Ingaruka zisanzwe zo kwita ku bigo ni ukudindira mu mutwe, kutita ku bintu, gusubira inyuma ndetse no gupfa, iyo umubyeyi uhagije atabonetse. (23)
Nkuko byavuzwe, akamaro k'ababyeyi bombi mubuzima bwabana wasanze ari ngombwa. Ibi bigaragazwa nuburambe bufatika hamwe nubushakashatsi bwinshi. Umubyeyi umwe ashobora kuba intangarugero mu nshingano zabo nk'umubyeyi, ariko ibyo ntibisimbuza umubyeyi wabuze abo mudahuje igitsina. Nk’uko ubushakashatsi bubyerekana, abana bakuriye mu miryango isenyutse (imiryango ifite umubyeyi umwe, imiryango mishya ...) bafite ibibazo byinshi bikurikira. Barerekana akamaro k'urukundo rwababyeyi bombi babyaranye:
Urwego rwuburezi nigipimo cyo kurangiza amashuri kiri hasi
• Abahungu bakuze badafite se bakunze kugana inzira yubugizi bwa nabi nubugizi bwa nabi
• Guhungabana mu marangamutima, kwiheba no kugerageza kwiyahura bikunze kugaragara ku bana badafite ababyeyi bombi mu muryango
• Gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge n'inzoga birasanzwe
• Gutwita kwingimbi no guhura nigitsina bikunze kugaragara
Nigute abana barezwe nabashakanye bahuje igitsina bakurikirana muriki gice? Muri make, bafite ibibazo nkabandi bana baturuka mumibanire yumuryango. Imbonerahamwe ikurikira, ijyanye n’ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Ositarariya Sotirios Sarantokis kuri iyo ngingo (22), itanga bimwe byerekana iyo ngingo. Ubushakashatsi yateguye mu 1996 n’ubushakashatsi bunini cyane bugereranya ibyavuye mu iterambere ry’abana kugeza mu mwaka wa 2000. Ubushakashatsi bwibanze ku isuzuma ry’ababyeyi ubwabo, ibisubizo by’ishuri ndetse n’isuzuma ry’abarimu ku iterambere ry’abana:
Ubundi bushakashatsi busa bwakozwe na professeur sociology Mark Regnerus. Yasuzumye ingaruka z'imiterere y'umuryango ku bana. Ibyiza byubushakashatsi nuko byari bishingiye ku gutoranya ibintu bidasanzwe hamwe nicyitegererezo kinini (urubyiruko rwabanyamerika 15,000). Byongeye kandi, icyitegererezo cyaguwe no gushyiramo ingo aho umwe mubakuze yigeze kugirana imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ubushakashatsi bwatangajwe mubushakashatsi bwubumenyi mbonezamubano, igitabo cyambere cya sociology. Ubu bushakashatsi bwerekanye ko abana b’abashakanye bahuje ibitsina bafite ibibazo by’amarangamutima n’imibereho kurusha abana bakuze bafite ababyeyi bombi babyaranye. Robert Oscar Lopez, na we ubwe yakuze ari nyina wa lesbiyani na mugenzi we w’umugore, yagize icyo avuga ku bushakashatsi bwa Regnerus:
Ubushakashatsi bwa Regnerus bwerekanye abana 248 bakuze bafite ababyeyi bakundana numuntu mudahuje igitsina. Igihe aba bana bakuze bahabwaga amahirwe yo gusuzuma byimazeyo ubwana bwabo bakurikije uko bakuze, batanze ibisubizo bidahuye neza nuburinganire buringaniye muri gahunda yubukwe butabogamye. Nyamara, ibisubizo bishyigikirwa nikintu cyingenzi mubuzima, aribwo bwumvikane busanzwe: Biragoye gukura bitandukanye nabandi bantu, kandi izo ngorane zongera ibyago byuko abana bazagira ibibazo byo guhinduka kandi ko bazivura inzoga. n'ubundi buryo bw'imyitwarire iteye akaga. Buri wese muri abo 248 babajijwe nta gushidikanya ko afite amateka yabantu hamwe nibintu byinshi bigoye. Nkinkuru yanjye, inkuru z'aba bantu 248 dukwiye kuvuga. Urugendo rwabahuje ibitsina rukora ibishoboka byose kugirango hatagira ubumva. (25)
Ntabwo bikwiye kudutangaza ko abana b'abashakanye bahuje ibitsina bafite ibibazo. Ni nako bigenda kubana bose baturuka mumazu yasenyutse. Bafite ibibazo byinshi mubuzima bwabo kurusha abana bagize amahirwe yo gukura hamwe nimiryango idafite ubuzima. Byongeye kandi, umuco wo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina utera ibibazo abana, urugero kubwimpamvu zikurikira. Bazana ihungabana mubuzima bwabana:
• Abaryamana bahuje ibitsina bafite imibanire idahwitse. Ibi ni ukuri cyane cyane kubaryamana bahuje igitsina gabo, ukurikije ubushakashatsi bumwe (Mercer et al 2009) bafite imibonano mpuzabitsina inshuro eshanu kurusha abagabo badahuje igitsina.
• Abagore bahuje igitsina barangwa n'imibanire migufi. Itandukaniro ryijanisha ryabashakanye ryagaragaye ko riri hejuru cyane ugereranije n’abashakanye. Byongeye kandi, ugereranije nabashakanye badahuje igitsina, itandukaniro ryijanisha riri hejuru cyane. Ibi kandi bizana ihungabana mubuzima bwabana.
• Iyo igicuruzwa cyabashakanye ari kinini kandi byibuze umwe mubakuze ntabwo ari umubyeyi wumwana, ibyago byo gusambanya byiyongera. Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Regnerus bwerekanye ko 2% gusa by’abana barerwa na se na nyina babyaranye bavuze ko bakorewe imibonano mpuzabitsina, mu gihe 23% by’abana barezwe n’umubyeyi w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore w’umugore wavuze ko bagaragaje ko nabo babibonye. Ikintu kimwe nticyakunze kugaragara mubagabo bahuje igitsina kurusha abashakanye.
• Nkuko bizwi, abaharanira inyungu z’abahuje ibitsina barwanyije kandi basebya ibikorwa nkibi aho abantu bashaka ku bushake kwikuramo ubuzima bw’abahuje ibitsina. Barayibasiye bavuga ko ari bibi. Nyamara, imibereho yabaryamana bahuje igitsina mubyukuri irangiza kandi ishobora guteza akaga kubera imibonano mpuzabitsina myinshi. By'umwihariko abagabo bafite ibyago byinshi byo kwandura indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina n'izindi ndwara zanduza umuntu umwe ku wundi. Mu bindi, sida ni ikibazo. Ibi birashobora kugabanya ubuzima bwabo cyane, ariko birashobora no gutwara undi mubyeyi kumwana. Ibi kandi bituma ubuzima bwabana budahungabana. Amagambo akurikira avuga byinshi kuriyi ngingo. Nubushakashatsi buyobowe na Dr. Robert S. Hogg. Itsinda rye ryakusanyije amakuru ku bagabo bahuje ibitsina n'abagabo bahuje ibitsina mu gace ka Vancouver kuva 1987-1992. Ubushakashatsi bwarebye ingaruka zindwara, ntabwo ari impengamiro, ku kigereranyo cyo kubaho. Kubwamahirwe, inkingo zateye imbere kuva kera,
Birashoboka ko abagabo bi n'abaryamana bahuje igitsina babaho kuva ku myaka 20 kugeza ku myaka 65 bitandukanye hagati ya 32 na 59%. Iyi mibare iri hasi cyane ugereranije nabandi bagabo muri rusange, bagize amahirwe 78% yo kubaho kuva kumyaka 20 kugeza kumyaka 65. Umwanzuro: Mu mujyi munini wa Kanada, icyizere cyo kubaho kubagabo bahuje ibitsina nabahuje ibitsina bafite imyaka 20 ni 8-20 munsi y'iy'abandi bagabo. Niba inzira imwe mu rupfu iramutse ikomeje, dukurikije ibigereranyo byacu, hafi kimwe cya kabiri cyabagabo bahuje ibitsina nabahuje ibitsina ubu bafite imyaka 20 ntibazagera ku myaka 65 y'amavuko. Ndetse ukurikije ibitekerezo byubuntu, abagabo bahuje ibitsina nabahuje ibitsina muri iki mujyi rwagati kuri ubu bafite icyizere cyo kubaho gihwanye nabagabo bose bo muri Kanada muri 1871. (26)
NI GUTE ABANTU BAKORA IBI? Nkuko byavuzwe, umubyeyi umwe abaryamana bahuje igitsina arashobora gukora ibishoboka byose muruhare rwe nkumubyeyi kandi akagerageza kuba umubyeyi mwiza kumwana we. Ntushobora kubihakana. Ariko, nukuri kandi ko imiterere yumuryango ifite akamaro. Ubushakashatsi bwinshi, uburambe bwubuzima hamwe nubwenge busanzwe byerekana ko ari byiza ko abana bakurira muri sosiyete kandi bakita kubabyeyi babo bababyaye. Birumvikana ko ibyo bitajya bibaho neza kuko ababyeyi bafite inenge, ariko muri rusange, wasangaga abana bakora neza niba ababyeyi bombi babyaranye bahari. None abashyigikiye ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye bakira bate aya makuru, cyangwa niba ashidikanya ku mibereho y'abahuje ibitsina? Mubisanzwe bigaragarira nkibisubizo bikurikira:
Ibirego byo kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina no kuvuga urwango birasanzwe. Abantu benshi bazamura iki kirego, ariko ntibatekereza ko niyo tutemeranya kubintu, ntibisobanura kwanga undi. Abatanga impaka ntibashobora kumenya imitekerereze yimbere yundi muntu kandi ntibashobora kumva ko nubwo batabyumva, undi muntu ashobora gukundwa, cyangwa byibuze akagerageza gukunda. Iri tandukaniro rigomba kumvikana. Ku rundi ruhande, birasanzwe ko abashyigikiye cyane gushyingirwa kutagira aho babogamiye ku gusebanya no gusebanya abantu babona ibintu mu buryo butandukanye nabo. Nubwo bavuga ko bahagarariye urukundo, ntibabikora. Niba uri umuntu usebanya wenyine, ubyungukiramo iki cyangwa niba ubona ibyemezo bya buri wese mubuzima bwawe?
Ikirego cyo gushinja. Mbere byavuzwe uburyo imiterere yumuryango ari ngombwa mubuzima bwiza bwabana. Byagaragaye ko gutwita kwingimbi, ubugizi bwa nabi, kunywa ibiyobyabwenge nibibazo byamarangamutima bikunze kugaragara mumiryango aho byibuze umwe mubabyeyi babyaranye yabuze. Ibi kandi bigira ingaruka kumafaranga, mugihe societe yimibereho yiyongera. Kurugero, ubushakashatsi bwakorewe muri USA mumwaka wa 2008 bwerekanye ko gutandukana nabana bavutse batashyingiranywe byatwaye abasoreshwa miliyari 112 z'amadolari buri mwaka (Girgis et al 2012: 46). Mu buryo nk'ubwo, Etelä-Suomen sanomat yatangaje ku ya 31 Ukwakira 2010: Kwita ku bigo by’abana n’urubyiruko vuba bizatwara miliyari, Ibibazo by’abana byarushijeho kuba bibi kuva mu ntangiriro ya za 90 ... Kwita ku kigo cy’umwana umwe bitwara amayero 100.000 ku mwaka. .... Byongeye kandi, Aamulehti yatanze raporo ku ya 3 Werurwe 2013: Umusore wasizwe inyuma agura miliyoni 1.8. Niba n'umwe yagaruwe muri societe, ibisubizo nibyiza. Abandi bakira bate aya makuru? Bashobora kuvuga ko ubu ababyeyi barera abana, ababyeyi bahuje ibitsina cyangwa abatsinzwe mu mibano yabo babiryozwa. Ariko, ntugomba kubireba uhereye kuri iyo ngingo. Nkuko kandi, buriwese arashobora gutekereza uburyo ibintu byakosorwa kugirango birusheho kuba byiza. Niba umuntu ateganya, kurugero, gusiga uwo bashakanye nimiryango, agomba gutekereza kabiri, kuko bishobora kugira ingaruka zikomeye kubana ndetse nigihe kizaza. . umubyeyi. Amakuru ajyanye n'akamaro k'imiterere y'umuryango kubana hari aho asa namakuru ajyanye nibyiza byo gukora siporo cyangwa ububi bwitabi kubuzima. Aya makuru arahari, ariko ntabwo abantu bose babyitabira. Ariko, nidukurikiza amakuru aboneka kuri buri wese, bizamura ubuzima bwumubiri.
"Ubushakashatsi bw'imyanda" . Nubwo ibitekerezo bifatika hamwe nubuzima bwa buri munsi bishyigikira ko ari byiza kubana nibemererwa gukurira mumuryango wababyeyi bombi babyaranye, bamwe mubashyigikiye cyane gushyingirwa kutabogamye bagerageza kubihakana. Bavuga ko kuba umubyeyi ubyara atari ngombwa, ariko ko undi muntu mukuru ashobora gusimbuza umubyeyi wabuze. Hano batanga ubushakashatsi bwihariye butanga iki gitekerezo. Muri icyo gihe, hasobanuwe ko amakuru yose yabanjirije kubyerekeye ubusobanuro bwimiryango ari "ubushakashatsi bwubusa" namakuru yubumenyi. Niyo mpamvu batekereza ko bigomba kwangwa. Ariko, iyo urebye ubushakashatsi abashyingiranwa badafite aho babogamiye bavuga, bahura nibiranga amakuru yubumenyi. Impamvu ni urugero ibintu bikurikira:
Icyitegererezo cyubushakashatsi ni gito , ugereranije abajijwe 30-60 gusa. Ingano ntoya ntishobora gutanga ibisubizo bifatika. Kugirango dukore rusange, ingano yicyitegererezo igomba kuba myinshi.
Amatsinda yo kugereranya arabuze cyangwa ni imiryango isenyutse. Ikibazo cyubushakashatsi bwinshi nuko badafite amatsinda yo kugereranya ababana bahuje ibitsina na gato. Cyangwa niba hari itsinda ryo kugereranya, akenshi usanga ari umubyeyi umwe, umuryango wubatswe cyangwa ubana. Gushyingirwa kw'ababyeyi babyaranye, bizwi ko ari byiza cyane mu mikurire y'abana, ntibikunze gukoreshwa nk'itsinda ryo kugereranya. Byari bimaze kuvugwa mbere ko abana mumiryango yasenyutse bafite ibibazo byinshi.
Duhereye ku bushakashatsi 59 bwakoreshejwe na APA, 26 ntabwo bagize itsinda ryo kugereranya rigizwe nabashakanye bahuje igitsina na gato. Ubushakashatsi 33 bwari bufite itsinda ryo kugereranya, ariko mubushakashatsi 13 itsinda ryo kugereranya ryari imiryango ifite umubyeyi umwe. Mu bushakashatsi 20 busigaye, ntibisobanutse niba itsinda ryo kugereranya ari umubyeyi umwe, abashakanye babana, umuryango mushya cyangwa abashakanye bashinzwe n'ababyeyi babyaranye. Uku kubura kwonyine gutuma rusange muri rusange bitera ikibazo, kubera ko Brown (2004: 364) avuga mubushakashatsi bwe yasesenguye abana b’abanyamerika 35,938 n’ababyeyi babo ko hatitawe ku mutungo w’amafaranga n’ababyeyi, urubyiruko (imyaka 12-17) rufite umusaruro muke mu miryango y’abashakanye babana. kuruta mu miryango y'ababyeyi babiri bashakanye. (27)
Nta gutoranya bidasanzwe no kumenya akamaro k'ibazwa . Iyo ibyitegererezo ari bito, ikindi kibazo nuko benshi muribo badashingiye kubiteganijwe, ariko ababajijwe bashakirwa mumahuriro yabarwanashyaka. Abaganiriye bashobora kuba bazi akamaro ka politiki yubushakashatsi bityo bagatanga ibisubizo "bikwiye". Uretse ibyo, ninde ushaka kuvuga nabi kubyerekeye imibereho myiza y'abana babo cyangwa umwana kubyerekeye ababyeyi be, abikeneye? Ni muri urwo rwego, ubushakashatsi bwinshi muri uru rwego buributsa ubushakashatsi bwateguwe mu myaka mirongo ishize na Alfred Kinsey. Ntabwo bari bashingiye ku bushakashatsi bwakozwe ku bushake, ariko igice kinini cy’ubushakashatsi bwa Kinsey cyaturutse ku bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, abafata ku ngufu, pimps, pedophile, abakiriya b’abahuje ibitsina n’abandi bantu batandukana. Ibisubizo bya Kinsey byavuzwe ko bihagarariye Abanyamerika basanzwe, ariko ubushakashatsi bwakurikiyeho bwatanze ibisubizo bitandukanye rwose kandi bivuguruza amakuru yatanzwe na Kinsey. Dr. Judith Reisman yanditse kuri iyi ngingo mu gitabo cye gikomeye "Kinsey: Ibyaha & Ingaruka" (1998).
Gushaka intego? Igihe gukuramo inda amaherezo byemewe n'amategeko, byavuzwe ko gukuramo inda mu buryo butemewe byakozwe ku bwinshi. Kurugero, byavuzwe ko gukuramo inda 30.000 bitemewe bibera muri Finlande buri mwaka, nubwo nyuma y’ihinduka ry’amategeko, umubare wabaye hafi 10,000. Niki cyateye itandukaniro rinini? Bamwe mu bashyigikiye gukuramo inda bemeye ku mugaragaro nyuma yuko bakabije iyo mibare hagamijwe kuyobya abadepite n'ibitekerezo rusange. Umuntu arashobora kubaza niba hari intego isa niyerekanwa mubushakashatsi bwinshi bujyanye nubukwe butabogamye. Bamwe bemeje ko intego nk'izo zabayeho. Abashakashatsi birengagije itandukaniro rigaragara rishobora kugaragara kuko bashakaga kwerekana ko imiterere yumuryango ntaho ihuriye niterambere ryabana. Igitekerezo gikurikira kivuga kuri ibi:
Stacey na Biblarz (2001: 162) bemera ko kubera ko abashakashatsi bifuzaga kwerekana ko kurera kw'abashakanye bahuje ibitsina ari byiza nko kurera n'abashakanye badahuje igitsina, abashakashatsi bumva neza bitandukanya itandukaniro riri hagati y'iyi miryango. Mu yandi magambo, nubwo abashakashatsi basanze mubyukuri itandukaniro ryababyeyi kurera abantu bakuru, barabyirengagije, basuzugura akamaro kabo, cyangwa bananiwe gukora ubundi bushakashatsi kubitandukaniro. Icyerekezo cyimibonano mpuzabitsina cyababyeyi cyagize ingaruka kubana babo kuruta ibyo abashakashatsi bazanye (Stacey & Biblarz 2001: 167). (28)
Turabizi kandi ko ubushakashatsi bwinshi bukorwa nabashakashatsi bake. Rimwe na rimwe, bagiye bakorana. Byongeye kandi, bamwe muribo bafite abaryamana bahuje igitsina cyangwa bashyigikira byimazeyo gushyingirwa kutabogamye. Iyi ni ishingiro ribi kubushakashatsi butabogamye.
Ingaruka z'imyumvire y'abashakashatsi ku giti cyabo zirashimangirwa kuko abashakashatsi bake bakoze igice kinini cyubushakashatsi 60 buvugwa. Charlotte J. Patterson ni umwanditsi umwe kuri cumi na babiri muri ubwo bushakashatsi 60, Henny Bos kuri icyenda, Nanette Gartrell kuri barindwi, Judith Stacey na Abbie Goldberg ni abanditsi kuri bane, abandi bake ni bo banditsi ku bushakashatsi butatu. Bakunze gukora ubushakashatsi hamwe. Ibi bigabanya umubare wubushakashatsi bwigenga kandi byongera ingaruka kubogama kwabashakashatsi. Ibi birasobanura impamvu ibyifuzo bimwe bisubirwamo mubushakashatsi bwinshi. Charlotte Patterson ni umwarimu wa psychologiya muri kaminuza ya Virijiniya. Usibye ibikorwa bye byinshi by'ubushakashatsi, afite n'ubunararibonye bwibikorwa byo kurera mumuryango wumugabo umwe bahuje igitsina: yareze abana batatu mubumwe bwimyaka 30 na Deborah Cohn. Nanette Gartrell, hamwe n’umugore we Dee Mosbacher, barwaniye cyane uburenganzira bw’abahuje ibitsina kandi yabaye umushakashatsi mukuru mu mushinga w’ubushakashatsi US National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS) uterwa inkunga n’imiryango myinshi izwi cyane kuryamana kw'abahuje igitsina. Henny Bos akora akazi ko kuba umwarimu w’uburezi muri kaminuza ya Amsterdam kandi yitabiriye hamwe na Nanette Gartrell mu mushinga w’ubushakashatsi bwa NLLFS. Abbie Goldberg ni umwarimu wa psychologiya muri kaminuza ya Clark i Worcester, muri Massachusetts. Avuga ko kuva yatangira umurimo we w'ubushakashatsi, yahuye n'ikibazo ko "imikorere mbonezamubano n'itangazamakuru rigaragaza ibyo bita amahame yiganje, bitakigaragara cyane (ni ukuvuga imiterere y'imiryango ya kirimbuzi itandukanye)". Mu bitekerezo bye byinshi by’inzobere, Judith Stacey yaburaniye ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye, nubwo abona ko inzira nziza ari ugukuraho ikigo cyose cy’abashakanye. Kuri we, ikigo cy’abashakanye ubwacyo cyongera ubusumbane. (29) nubwo abona ko inzira nziza ari ugukuraho ikigo cyose cyubukwe. Kuri we, ikigo cy’abashakanye ubwacyo cyongera ubusumbane. (29) nubwo abona ko inzira nziza ari ugukuraho ikigo cyose cyubukwe. Kuri we, ikigo cy’abashakanye ubwacyo cyongera ubusumbane. (29)
Urukundo . Igihe Abanazi barwanaga euthanasiya, imwe mu mpamvu zabiteye ni impuhwe. Byasobanuwe ko ubuzima bwabantu bwose budakwiye kubaho, niyo mpamvu, mubindi, hakozwe film zo kwamamaza kugirango bagerageze kurengera iki kibazo. Mw'izina ry'impuhwe, hafashwe ibyemezo amaherezo biganisha ku ngaruka mbi. Ibintu byinshi birengera no muri iki gihe mwizina ryurukundo. Birumvikana ko atari bibi ko urukundo rurengera, ariko akenshi mubyukuri birashobora kuba mask yo kwikunda, cyane cyane kubwikuze bwumuntu mukuru ku mwana. Nkuko imigezi mishya yagaragaye muri societe mumyaka mirongo ishize, inyinshi murizo zifitanye isano neza nabana. Abana bahatirwa guhura ningaruka zo guhitamo abakuze. Impinduramatwara mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, gukuramo inda, no gushyingiranwa kutabogamye ni ingero eshatu:
• Igitekerezo cya revolution yimibonano mpuzabitsina nuko byari byiza gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina utasezeranye. Ikibazo cyaburanishijwe bavuga ko "nta kibi kirimo niba abantu bombi bakundana". Byagenze bite kandi ni izihe ngaruka niba umwana avutse mu bihe nk'ibyo ababyeyi batasezerana mbere yabyo? Ibyishimo birumvikana ko amahitamo aho ababyeyi bahita bahuza kandi umwana akavukira murugo hamwe nababyeyi bombi. Ariko, imyitozo akenshi iratandukanye. Ababyeyi barashobora gukuramo inda cyangwa barashobora gutandukana kandi umwana aba kurera umubyeyi umwe (cyangwa se umwe). Ubwisanzure mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, bushobora kuba bwarwanijwe n’urukundo, ntabwo rero ari amahitamo meza ku mwana.
• Gukuramo inda byaje nyuma ya revolution yimibonano mpuzabitsina. No muri iki gihe, abunganira iki kibazo ntibashobora gutanga ibisobanuro ku mpamvu umwana uri mu nda ya nyina, ufite ibice bimwe by'umubiri (amaso, izuru, umunwa, amaguru, amaboko) nk'uruhinja cyangwa, urugero, a Umwana w'imyaka 10, yaba umuntu muto. Gutura mu nda ya nyina ntibigomba kuba ishingiro.
• Ishyingiranwa ridafite aho ribogamiye - ingingo yiyi ngingo - irashobora kandi kuba ikibazo kubana. Kuberako niba abana babonetse mubumwe nkuburyo bwubukorikori cyangwa imibanire yigihe gito ya hetero, bisiga umwana mubihe yabuze byibuze umwe mubabyeyi be bamubyaye murugo.
References:
1. Wendy Wright: French Homosexuals Join Demonstration Against Gay Marriage, Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute, January 18, 2013 2. Liisa Tuovinen, ”Synti vai siunaus?” Inhimillinen tekijä. TV2, 2.11.2004, klo 22.05. 3. Bill Hybels: Kristityt seksihullussa kulttuurissa (Christians in a Sex Crazed Culture), p. 132 4. Espen Ottosen: Minun homoseksuaalit ystäväni (”Mine homofile venner”), p. 104 5. Espen Ottosen: Minun homoseksuaalit ystäväni (”Mine homofile venner”), p. 131 6. Lesboidentiteetti ja kristillisyys, p. 87, Seta julkaisut 7. Sinikka Pellinen: Homoseksuaalinen identiteetti ja kristillinen usko, p. 77, Teron kertomus 8. Ari Puonti: Suhteesta siunaukseen, p. 76,77 9. John Corvino: Mitä väärää on homoseksualisuudessa?, p. 161 10. Tapio Puolimatka: Seksuaalivallankumous, perheen ja kulttuurin romahdus, p. 172 11. Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Homosexuel contre le marriage pour tous (2013), Deboiris, p. 94 12. Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Homosexuel contre le marriage pour tous (2013), Deboiris, p. 210 13. Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Homosexuel contre le marriage pour tous (2013), Deboiris, p. 212 14. Jean-Marc Guénois: “J’ai été élevé par deux femmes”, Le Figaro 1.10.2013 15. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 28,29 16. Frank Litgvoet: “The Misnomer of Motherless Parenting”, New York Times 07/2013 17. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 43,44 18. Alana Newman: Testimony of Alana S. Newman. Opposition to AB460. To the California Assembly Committee on Health, April 30, 2013. 19. Edwin Louis Cole: Miehuuden haaste, p. 104 20. David Popenoe (1996): Life without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society. New York: Free Press. 21. Kristin Anderson Moore & Susan M. Jekielek & Carol Emig:” Marriage from a Child’s Perspective: How Does Family Structure Affect Children and What Can We do About it”, Child Trends Research Brief, Child Trends, June 2002, http:www. childrentrends.org&/files/marriagerb602.pdf.) 22. Sara McLanahan & Gary Sandefur: Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps, p. 38 23. Margaret Mead: Some Theoretical Considerations on the Problem of Mother-Child Separation, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, vol. 24, 1954, p. 474 24. Sotirios Sarantakos: Children in Three Contexts: Family, Education and Social Development, Children Australia 21, 23-31, (1996) 25. Robert Oscar Lopez: Growing Up With Two Moms: The Untold Cgildren’s View, The Public Discourse, Augustth, 2012 26. International Journal of Epidemiology Modelling the Impact of HIV Disease on Mortality in Gay and Bisexual men; International Journal of Epidemiology; Vol. 26, No 3, p. 657 27. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 166 28. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 176 29. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 178,179
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Jesus is the way, the truth and the life
Grap to eternal life!
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Other Google Translate machine translations:
Amamiliyoni yimyaka / dinosaurs /
ubwihindurize bwabantu? |
